Proverbs 31:12 “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
Back several years ago, I shared with Far Above Rubies readers a time when the Lord spoke so clearly from this verse to me regarding my failure as a wife, in how I should treat my husband. Out of all the articles I have written, this by far is the one that most people remember and bring up on occasion. I feel the incident I shared and how it relates to this verse bears repeating.
Growing up, I had a mother who was a great example of a submissive wife, whose endeavor was to please her husband. It was her example that caused me to have a desire to be such a wife as this. I married a wonderful man who actually is easy to please. However, I also married a man who had been one of my best friends before we had ever had a serious relationship. This was the hard part. It was difficult at times to submit to him as my husband, when we been “buddies”. I remember the first time as my husband, when he had to “put his foot down” and make a decision about ME that I didn’t agree with. Even though I submitted to him outwardly, my inside voice said, “Who do you think you are: my FATHER?”
It was this inward attitude that actually caused me to do some things aimed towards my husband that were not “good,” but “evil” (Matthew 15:19 says,“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts…”). I always made a lunch for my husband to take to work. He worked hard, and still being in his twenties with a hunger to go with his youth, I would send him with three sandwiches along with other things. Two of the sandwiches would be of meat, but to help cut costs, the third one would be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. PB and J was not his favorite, but he willingly ate them appreciating the fact that I was concerned about the budget. One day something happened which displeased me, and as I made his lunch for the next day, I decided that he would get THREE peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was my silent way of rebelling against his God-given position of being in charge.
I wish I could say that I acted childishly this one time, but I resorted to making this lunch several other times when I was unhappy with my husband. Of course, I allowed enough time in between so as to not draw suspicion. After all, if he “figured it out”, then there wouldn’t be as much pleasure in my rebellion.
Sometime later I was challenged to read Proverbs 31 every day for a period of time. I don’t remember how many days it had been, but one morning as I was reading verse 12, the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instantly came to my mind. The Lord showed me how wrong I had been. I begged forgiveness and asked the Lord to help me to “do him good”, and not “evil.” I wanted to be like the Biblical, virtuous woman, and I had such a long way to go.
It was some time later that I shared this with my husband. When I admitted to what I had done and the attitude in which I had done it, we both laughed as he stated that he hadn’t even noticed the malice behind it. He had just assumed the budget hadn’t allowed meat sandwiches, or that we had simply run out.
Even though there is some humor in this incident, in reality, a rebellious attitude is never funny. Maybe some can see the humor, because they can relate. Maybe other actions and attitudes come to mind as one reads this. Are we as wives living each and every day with our husband’s best interests in mind? Let’s set aside our own selfishness and feelings, and instead, do what the Lord would have us do as wives. The next time you are struggling with having the right attitude towards your husband, instead of doing something unkind, think of doing something that pleases him. Trust me, this brings much more pleasure, and helps to create a peaceful home.
I am sharing a recipe that is one of my husband’s favorite desserts. When we start getting an overabundance of zucchinis, he gets excited knowing that zucchini cake is coming.
Chocolate Zucchini Sheet Cake
2 cups sugar
1 cup oil
2 ½ cups flour
¼ cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
¼ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
½ cup milk
2 cups grated zucchini
1 tsp almond extract
½ cup butter, softened
¼ cup cocoa powder
6 Tbsp milk
4 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp almond extract
Beat sugar, oil and eggs in large bowl. Combine dry ingredients in a small bowl. Add dry ingredients to large bowl alternately with milk. Stir in zucchini and extract. Pour into greased 10×15” jellyroll pan. Bake at 375 for 25 minutes.
While cake is baking, beat frosting ingredients until smooth. Spread onto hot cake.